500 Acid Tabs

by Keith Christmas



I wrote this in 2015 at the same time as I was writing all the tracks for 'Crazy Dancing Days' and it is one of my many 'tales of the road'

I recorded it, even made a video of it but decided not to put it on the album for a variety of reasons which seemed the right choice at the time but now I'm not so sure


Well my agent got me a couple of gigs in Bern and Zurich, Switzerland
I was gonna be the warmup act for a well-known English prog-rock band
Then we had to get to a festival way up in northern Germany
Loads of my mates were gonna be there, the Craic was good, so was the fee

The deal was, I'd fly out and to get to the German gig
The rock band's crew would give me a lift in the cab of one of their rigs

Well Zurich we set alight, and Bern, well it was all right,
We were all staying at to the same hotel
And on the second night well down on my head it all fell

I was young and wild and loved to party and it all got a little out of hand
And one of my fans disturbed the rest of the well-known English prog-rock band
Next day I went up to the crew, “said, morning guys, are we on?”
They said “we are, but you're not” and 20 minutes later they were gone

I was sitting there trying to figure it out when two Swiss lads I'd seen before
Came up and said, “we saw the gig and we'd love to see you play some more”

I told them of my plight, I couldn't afford a flight
And if I tried to get on a train
I'd probably wind up on the border  with the Ukraine

So they had a chat and they came back said “this is what we'll do for you
We'll drive you there in our 2 plus 2 if  you get us in as your road crew”
They'd met an American girl so we both squashed in the back
She was touring Europe with, 500 acid tabs in her backpack
500 acid tabs in her backpack, 500 acid tabs in her backpack

Well we tore up those autobahns at a hundred and twenty five
I'll say something for those Swiss lads, they sure knew how to drive
Six hours later we arrived and I got them all in for free
And when I met up with all my mates, one of them said to me

“Well the truck with all that gear, that was meant to get you here
You won't be seeing them again
They broke down outside of Bern in the pouring rain”

So the well-known English prog-rock band flew home that very day
And left their crew to sort it out, while me I just got to play
I raised a cheer and had a beer for the two Swiss lads who saved my back
And the American girl who toured the world with 500 acid tabs in her backpack
500 acid tabs in her backpack, 500 acid tabs in her backpack


released June 14, 2020


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Keith Christmas UK

In a career spanning over 50 years Keith has recorded multiple albums, played acoustic guitar on Bowie’s ‘Space Oddity’ album, appeared at the first Glastonbury Festival in 1970 and gigged solo all over the UK and Europe.
A legendary live performer he has had a resurgence in popularity since ‘Crazy Dancing Days’ was released in December 2016 and ‘Life,Life’ in 2019
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